Friday, April 16, 2010

I pee standing up

Sometimes people ask me how I'm doing. Most of it is just in passing, but I think there are a few people have some small level interest in my daily life. Ok. Its my mother and I am normally quite annoyed when she asks me how I am doing for a lot of different reasons, but I have developed a standard response that seems to work for me.

"My life doesn't suck." could mean different things, but here is what it means to me.

I have a job. I actually really enjoy about 95% of my job. I will admit that sometimes I feel that it would be better without the customers or my boss but it pays the bills. My math skills aren't what they used to be so I will keep telling myself that customers account for less than 5% of what I do.

NOT the point. My bills are paid. That doesn't suck. I have definitely had my bank account overdrawn before. I have had my phone turned off before and that sucks quite a bit.

I have 3 vehicles plus a snowboard and that is far from suck.

The truck doesn't suck at all. It runs! It halls! and I don't put miles on it for road trips and I am seldom selected as designated driver due to the low seating capacity. Being sober around drunk people does suck.

My bicycle would suck if it were all I had to get me around. I have seen the people riding to work in the bitter cold and rain. That probably sucks. I don't know because I am not poor. see paragraph about the job.

Motorcycle! If you know me then you knew that one was coming. Its like riding a wave runner everywhere you go. The only way to put "suck" and "wave runner" in the same sentence (besides this one) is to say, "It sucks that you don't have a wave runner."

I don't live with my mother. I think you get the picture so we can move on.

I can write my name in the snow and I do every year. You have to do it in cursive, but its easy for me because my name starts with 2 A's. There is alot of backtracking with a letter like "K" or an extreme amount of stopping and starting and that sucks.

I have xbox live and no one complains about how long I've been on it.
I have air conditioning.
and internet
I don't menstruate or cry at everything
I have an extensive Jackie Chan collection. I am watching Rush Hour 2 right now and that doesn't suck like most sequels.
I am in a band. The Guitongo reunion tour will be coming to Indianapolis this July. Mike plays guitar. I play the bongo. Together we are...GUITONGO. Remember it takes 2 to Guitongo.

I haven't even begun to talk about my friends. Well...I wouldn't call them friends, but there are lots of people that I hang out with when I am bored. Most of then don't motorcycles or play xbox live so their lives do suck by direct comparison. And I think that half of them must remember to put the toilet seat down if you know what I'm talking about. I would imagine that jealousy is what prevents us from actually being friends.

Oh well.

At least my life doesn't suck.

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