I have recently begun trying to undo what I have steadily doing over the last few years. I have been a good worker bee and I have been accumulating fat stores in preparation for the next drought or famine. I am not certain that bees do store fat. They make and store honey, but if I had said that I have been stockpiling honey I might have too many people stopping by.
Anyway, I have given up! I don't believe there will be a drought or famine anytime soon. So what do I need all this fat for? I have been piling it up and carrying it around everywhere I go. It's weighing me down (pardon the pun) and I have decided to get rid of it. Easier said than done I suppose, but what the heck. I'll give it a shot, right.
Step 1: Admitting I have a problem. Check!
Step 2: Go grocery shopping and acquire healthy food. Oh, this is gonna be easy. Check-o-rooney!
Step 3: ???????
Step 4: Loose weight. Hmmm.
A few days in and I am eating healthier. Oatmeal for breakfast. I have fresh fruits and veggies on hand. This is good. I am feeling good. I feel healthier, but...the weights not shedding as it was supposed to. You see, I had this plan and step 4, as you might recall, is weight loss. something is wrong.
I will tell you whats wrong. I work at soccer arena which has a FULLY stocked concession stand.
I have access to nachos
1/4 pound all beef hot dogs
popcorn(pre-buttered and salted)
candy bars
potato chips
pizza
Keep in mind that there is no wrong way to eat a Reese's.
I have all of this at my fingertips 40 + hours a week. Monday-Saturday. I know what step #3 is.
Step 3: Eliminate junk food. Son a bitch thats gonna be hard. Maybe limit junk food? There's no wrong way! Everyone knows that. It's Reese's special peanut butter blend covered in a light but delicious layer of milk chocolate. They are individually wrapped and placed onto their own little serving tray. Whats not to love.
Giving up junk as I did I figured I should go ahead and up the ante. I will add two more "steps" to my weight loss plan.
Step 4 moves to step 6.
Step 4 becomes: Join a gym. Check. We are back on the right track.
Step 5: Regular workouts. This is getting hard again.
Fast forward a few weeks and I have achieved a small measure of weight loss success...10lbs. You can join my program for $20 bucks a month. Actual results may vary.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
54 mbps
It's done! I have it now.
The Internet in all its splendor is now pumped wirelessly through my 758 sq ft apartment. I can download at a breathtaking 54 mbps through my router even though I can only afford 1.5 mbps through my ISP. Oh yes, I've got the lingo down, but I will get to that soon enough. The "modems" and "DSLs" discussion will be attended to later on. The "I've gotta have it now" age is upon me and I love it. I've gotta have it all and I have to have it all the time. I don't know how I ever did without it.
youtube
pandora
facebook
blogspot
woot
fandango
IMDB
yahoo
google
wikipedia
dictionary
ebay
amazon
weather
espn
people of walmart
craigslist
These are all my guilty pleasures. I can't honestly go a day without thinking of or visiting one of these sites. I have never been on crack and I don't really know what its like but I have heard that some junkies would identify with some of my behaviors involving the internet.
I go to a friends to log into facebook.
I stay after work to do some internet shopping.
I do some internet shopping while I'm supposed to be working.
I look at CL posts on my phone during bathroom breaks (It loads much more slowly and there is lots of scrolling, but at least its a connection)
Fantasy Sports
Daily horoscopes
Jokes of the day
Chain letters (well, we all remember chain letters. I missed them when they were gone.)
Viagra and natural all organic Viagra substitutes
I have lived in this apartment for about 5 months and I purposely didn't sign up for cable or internet. There were 2 reasons that contributed to this decision. The most obvious reason would be money. And while its true that cable and internet solutions can be pricey, one will have some sacrifices to make from time to time. I can afford cable. I simply chose not to get it. The second and most important reason was an attempt to better myself. I thought that perhaps I was too dependent on a constant barrage of stimulus in my daily life. I had become too complacent and unwilling to explore the real world around me.
There was a time when I would plop down onto the couch after work and rather than read or go outside or visit a friend or work out or learn a new skill or change clothes or bathe or brush my teeth I would just sit and be paralyzed by the addiction that is modern day electronics. Has anyone else had to go to the bathroom but been unwilling to move from their stupefied state? Has anyone else been so lazy that actual and physical pain sets in before we decide to leave our comfy spot on the couch to use the restroom? I am not admitting that. I am simply asking a question and I am no doctor, but I bet that could be a sign of addiction.
I am streaming Netflix through Xbox live right now. I am typing on a computer that is connected to my brand new wireless network. That network is cleverly named "Ronstop" by the way and I love it. I want to bask in it. My wireless-G router with built-in DSL modem will be on all night. The internet will wash over me while I sleep and it will be here for me in the morning or in the afternoon or in the evening beneath the silver moon. The internet is open 24 hours a day and that is great because I gotta have it. And I've gotta have it now.
The Internet in all its splendor is now pumped wirelessly through my 758 sq ft apartment. I can download at a breathtaking 54 mbps through my router even though I can only afford 1.5 mbps through my ISP. Oh yes, I've got the lingo down, but I will get to that soon enough. The "modems" and "DSLs" discussion will be attended to later on. The "I've gotta have it now" age is upon me and I love it. I've gotta have it all and I have to have it all the time. I don't know how I ever did without it.
youtube
pandora
blogspot
woot
fandango
IMDB
yahoo
wikipedia
dictionary
ebay
amazon
weather
espn
people of walmart
craigslist
These are all my guilty pleasures. I can't honestly go a day without thinking of or visiting one of these sites. I have never been on crack and I don't really know what its like but I have heard that some junkies would identify with some of my behaviors involving the internet.
I go to a friends to log into facebook.
I stay after work to do some internet shopping.
I do some internet shopping while I'm supposed to be working.
I look at CL posts on my phone during bathroom breaks (It loads much more slowly and there is lots of scrolling, but at least its a connection)
Fantasy Sports
Daily horoscopes
Jokes of the day
Chain letters (well, we all remember chain letters. I missed them when they were gone.)
Viagra and natural all organic Viagra substitutes
I have lived in this apartment for about 5 months and I purposely didn't sign up for cable or internet. There were 2 reasons that contributed to this decision. The most obvious reason would be money. And while its true that cable and internet solutions can be pricey, one will have some sacrifices to make from time to time. I can afford cable. I simply chose not to get it. The second and most important reason was an attempt to better myself. I thought that perhaps I was too dependent on a constant barrage of stimulus in my daily life. I had become too complacent and unwilling to explore the real world around me.
There was a time when I would plop down onto the couch after work and rather than read or go outside or visit a friend or work out or learn a new skill or change clothes or bathe or brush my teeth I would just sit and be paralyzed by the addiction that is modern day electronics. Has anyone else had to go to the bathroom but been unwilling to move from their stupefied state? Has anyone else been so lazy that actual and physical pain sets in before we decide to leave our comfy spot on the couch to use the restroom? I am not admitting that. I am simply asking a question and I am no doctor, but I bet that could be a sign of addiction.
I am streaming Netflix through Xbox live right now. I am typing on a computer that is connected to my brand new wireless network. That network is cleverly named "Ronstop" by the way and I love it. I want to bask in it. My wireless-G router with built-in DSL modem will be on all night. The internet will wash over me while I sleep and it will be here for me in the morning or in the afternoon or in the evening beneath the silver moon. The internet is open 24 hours a day and that is great because I gotta have it. And I've gotta have it now.
Monday, February 22, 2010
My first time
Everyone is nervous their first time and this feels no different.
I was 13 the first time a drove a car. I remember the sickening excitement. Driving a stick. My dad was right next to me, but I was nervous as I stalled out the first 14 times. Oh, I remember.
I was nervous the first time I had to tell my parents about my first "F" on a report card.
First detention.
First suspension.
First job.
First time I quit.
The first time I shoplifted.
I was terrified the first time I was pulled over for speeding. 85 in a 65 and Kevin wasn't helping.
It's hard not to remember the first time you jump into a cold pool or lake. That's why we dip our toes in first.
I remember where I was and who I was with each of those times. There are some things that you just don't forget no matter what. Those traumatic moments stick so permanently into our minds. They become part of us. They define us. Our firsts contribute so much to how we face the rest of our lives. Most of us haven't touched a hot oven twice. We remember our firsts.
Thats why we put so much emphasis on first impressions. You only get one.
My first date, my first kiss and the first note passed in class. I remember all those firsts. The first time I got to second base was interesting as was the first (and only ladies) premature ejaculation. I remember the first time I talked to my girlfriends father when he knew... that I knew... that he knew... we had just had sex in his basement.
The first time I said, "I love you."
The first time I said, "We could be friends." as well as the first time we weren't.
My first blog will be remembered forever. It's not likely to be remembered for its great writing or stellar insight. The most likely reason is its chronological nature. It's my first time. There can never be another. I am nervous. Go easy on me.
I was 13 the first time a drove a car. I remember the sickening excitement. Driving a stick. My dad was right next to me, but I was nervous as I stalled out the first 14 times. Oh, I remember.
I was nervous the first time I had to tell my parents about my first "F" on a report card.
First detention.
First suspension.
First job.
First time I quit.
The first time I shoplifted.
I was terrified the first time I was pulled over for speeding. 85 in a 65 and Kevin wasn't helping.
It's hard not to remember the first time you jump into a cold pool or lake. That's why we dip our toes in first.
I remember where I was and who I was with each of those times. There are some things that you just don't forget no matter what. Those traumatic moments stick so permanently into our minds. They become part of us. They define us. Our firsts contribute so much to how we face the rest of our lives. Most of us haven't touched a hot oven twice. We remember our firsts.
Thats why we put so much emphasis on first impressions. You only get one.
My first date, my first kiss and the first note passed in class. I remember all those firsts. The first time I got to second base was interesting as was the first (and only ladies) premature ejaculation. I remember the first time I talked to my girlfriends father when he knew... that I knew... that he knew... we had just had sex in his basement.
The first time I said, "I love you."
The first time I said, "We could be friends." as well as the first time we weren't.
My first blog will be remembered forever. It's not likely to be remembered for its great writing or stellar insight. The most likely reason is its chronological nature. It's my first time. There can never be another. I am nervous. Go easy on me.
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