Munson University

Munson -Verb. 

Derived from the film "Kingpin" starring Woody Harrelson whose characters last name is Munson.  The word describes someone who has everything going for them and when they reach the pinnacle of their success they do something that causes them to lose it all.

Butler got Munsoned!  I hope you watched the game.  Most people did.  I mean to say that most people who live in Indianapolis did and that includes most of the people I know (coincidence).  I think I heard that the game received fairly low nationwide ratings which is not very surprising to me.  I imagine people tuned out due to a lack of point scoring which is extremely common in America.  It's why soccer hasn't really gained any traction with a national audience.  We only have time for one boring game and baseball currently occupies that spot.  Baseball has also been Munsoned.   Now, I just wish it would go away.  I had a bad little league experience. 

It was unforgettable and not in the good way (example: Victoria's Secret commercials are unforgettable in the good way).  I am referring to the Division I men's basketball championship again.  They were terrible and they set a record for the worst shooting performance of all time.  That's not just "pretty bad."  It's... the worst shooting performance of all time.  It only sounds harsh if you weren't paying attention.  It sounds accurate if you watched the game.  Could I have done better?  Could you?  The answer is probably...YES.  I could.  Maybe I couldn't have earned a trip to the game, but I can run around and miss layups and I can miss 50 plus shots in an afternoon quite easily.  Actually, that's pretty tough to do. 
Go outside! 
Get a ball! 
Find a hoop! 
Now see how long it takes you to miss fifty shots.  This isn't women's basketball we are talking about.  This is the BIG DANCE.  March Madness!  You are 6'11"!!!! How the fuck do you miss from there, Andrew Smith?

The Butler Men's Basketball Team made an amazing albeit improbable back-to-back run to the grand stage, but they deserved to be there.  I believe that to be a fact.  Baskets were falling all tournament long.  Their defense was disruptive.  Heart comes to mind.  They got to loose balls.  They were the first to hit the floor or take a charge.  I love the Bulldogs and coach Stevens.  I love the "Butler Way".  They are not the fastest or the tallest.  They are not the strongest or even the most talented, but they are a team.  They play well together and they don't quit.  Butler did not quit.  They wouldn't quit.  No, Sir!  They just sucked a big one at the worst possible moment in time. 

They beat a #1 seed (that's good if you don't know)
They beat a #4 seed (good but not as good the previous game)
They beat a #2 seed (almost as good as the #1 seed thing)
Sweet 16
Elite 8
Final 4
Championship Game!
They had tough competition and Butler played as underDAWGS in almost every single game.  Good teams will find a way to win and Butler did that.  They beat everyone they faced for 13 straight games.  Almost all of those were must wins.  Butler showed character in the toughest situations and they started to make everyone believe again.  13 games was the longest active unbeaten streak in NCAA Men's Division I basketball at the time. 

They led by as many as 6 points in the second half OF THE CHAMPIONSHIP and proceeded to loose by double digits in a game that was theirs to win.  Wow is right!  What happened?  Life happened.  Not everything always goes according to plan.  Some of my plans were turned upside down when the Dawgs turned back into pumpkins. 


I had planned to shave my head to commemorate a Bulldogs victory. I didn't get to although I kindof wanted to.  I had shaved my beard a few games before to demonstrate my appreciation for all of their hard work and dedication.  It was the first time I had a bare face since July of last year.  I don't know if you care, but...it was a big deal to me, OK.  The head shaving was going to be monumental.  I have never done that before and  I figured I could use the national title as an excuse if the bald head turned out to be an epic failure.  I am not really sure what my head would look like naked.  Its like a Tootsie Roll.  The world may never know. 

Starting anew can be a good thing.  I think that its important to maintain a certain level of freshness and cleanliness when it comes to body hair and personal hygiene.  I find that I have much more trimming to do as I get older.  I feel like nose hairs grow faster than they need to and nose hairs are fairly annoying now that I think of it.  They are what boogers grow on so I have a specialized electric trimmer for them.  I can't even see my ear hair or back hair.  I hope its doing alright.  Hmm...I don't know.  Armpit hair seems to have a maximum length though.  It seems to sprout fully in a matter of days and then just kinda stop growth at whatever length I am not comfortable with.  I don't understand that biological process, but there's a lot I don't understand I guess.  I don't shave my armpits with a razor.  I just take the hair down really short.  I use my beard trimmer for that. 

I read once (and I agree) that if it grows hair, you should trim it at least once a month.  This is true for both men and women.  I know you ladies shave your legs a little bit more regularly than that and I thank you.  We all thank you, but that's not the only place that grows hair so get to it.  I don't believe in double standards or unfair practices so I might admit to a small amount of "Man-Scaping".  I don't have a regular schedule, but there might be a general maintenance crew that makes its way through the region from time to time.  I don't really know what I am doing, but I go with the "Less is More" philosophy.  Its like a crew cut for the boys.  I assume its like a crew cut.  I never had a crew cut before.  I wonder if all crew cuts are performed while standing awkwardly over the toilet?  Do all crew cuts also involve my beard trimmer?  At least I wont have to worry about my roommates borrowing it anymore. 

I may have Munsoned this blog.

Munson University established in 2011 and we have majors in schoolin' mo' fo's on choking big time under pressure.  Oh...and minors in Man-Scaping.

Snow Day!

I wish I were young again.  I wish I could go back.
My dad says, "It's a shame that youth is wasted on the young."  I agree with him although those may not be his words.  Youths today don't know how good they've got it.  That is true, but my father is always stealing other people's words and I hate that.  The thing is that youths have never known how good they've got it.  They never will either.

We didn't!

I am sure that I would have blogged more if I had been aware of how baller my life was.  "Yes, Mother.  I will take that grilled cheese sandwich now." I said with a five year old British accent.  "No Chef Boyardee for me, thank you." 
You see...I knew then that those Big Beef Ravioli's would have an adverse affect on my play schedule.  Big Beef means "Big Trouble" and frequent restroom breaks.  I do not endorse Chef Boyardee.  In fact, I wish to have it removed from my memory and every supermarket in America.  It is gross.  I digress.  

The point I am trying to make is that I didn't pay for the grilled cheese.  I definitely didn't shop for it and I lacked the physical ability to prepare it.  That shit just appeared all hot and gooey and ready to eat in front of me.  Sometimes it came with a bowl of tomato soup.  That did not suck.  That shit is baller.  Childhood is great.

"So much time and so little to do."-Willy Wonka "Wait! Strike that.  Reverse it."
NOOOOO!  Don't reverse it.  Don't ever reverse it.  Life is so much better as a kid.  Never Neverland and such.

So little to do is awesome.

There are many times when we have too much to do.  

That's the beauty of childhood.  Kids don't have anywhere to be.  Why do they wear watches?  They're never late.  It's never their fault.  They just...are...they are in the moment and they do what they please.  Kids aren't breaking plans.  They aren't making them.  They don't have "in-laws".  They don't have a "work-thing".  They are free to do whatever strikes their fancy.  I am sure that many of us wonder (in awe) how absolutely thrilling it might be to live as a child again. 

"Gee, it's 4 o'clock and it is time to play." said the kid who didn't have a job.
"I don't have to work today." said the kids that don't pay rent or buy any groceries.
"I'm happy to be awake at 7am on a Sunday." said the shrill voiced and annoying little brat that didn't have a hangover. 

I remember the good old days.
I remember playing after school.
I remember wearing my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles watch.
I remember big wheels and training wheels.
Saturday morning cartoons.
Super Mario Bros.
The pool - Splashing the lifeguards and definitely not working on my tan
Riding bikes. - For fun...and not for exercise
Jumping off things - Just because
Playing "21" - A basketball game that didn't cost me $10 a hand
Creek stomping - Just like it sounds because all you do is stomp in a creek
Climbing trees - Because there was just nothing better to do

You know what else I remember...ok, I'll tell you.  I used to be excited about weather reports of snow and ice or extreme cold.  I remember wishing and hoping that schools would close or classes would be canceled due to in-climate weather.  I remember not knowing what in-climate weather meant.  I remember 2 hour delays.  I remember snow days!  I would watch those listings of school closings as they cycle through on the local news and hope my school was "lucky" enough to be on that magic list.  I would wake up an turn on the TV as if it were Christmas morning.

You unwrap that package of icy white hope (NOT RACIST) and its one of 3 things.

No closing or delay is the equivalent of socks from grandma.  They are needed.  They provide warmth and they don't call it "Smart Wool" for nothin'.  Stay in school.

The 2 hour delay is like a $10 gift card to Best Buy.  It's not an actual gift because you can't get anything worth having at Best Buy for under a Hamilton, but its better than nothing and now you only have to fork over $49 plus tax for Call of Duty: Black Ops

The Snow Day is like the Nintendo Wii that everyone wanted several years ago.  It was excitement and entertainment for everyone (including grandma) that lasts for about 24 hours.  Then it sucks because you have to go to school the next day.  Also, the nun chuck is sold separately from the controller and that's fairly rude.  No analogy.  No metaphor.  JUST RUDE.

A snow day is a beautiful thing.  It means alot to kids.  Let them enjoy it.  Build a snowman.  Go sledding.  Play with them or just play with yourself (wait...) Just have fun.  Its a Snow Day!  Its 1 day.  They don't last forever.  I will be at work and hating you, but go ahead and have a blast.  I get a 1 hour delay which is just enough extra time to scrape off all the ice from my truck.  Its certainly not enough time to get drunk and blog or recover for the morning commute.  I will deal with those consequences later, but I will leave you with this one last quote. 

"You don't quit playing because you grow old.  You grow old because you quit playing." - My Dad